Today's emotional ride with my twin pregnancy

Today was a good day for the most part. I ave been going through some things with my 14 yr old and alot has to do with the fact her father treats her less than trash. I recently dropped her off to his sister in laws house where he lives and pays rent and he called me tried belittling me instead of addressing what was wrong with our daughter. His sister in law tries to curse me out saying leaving my daughter there was disrespectful and what kind of mother drops off her kid with no money and clothes (mind you her father hasn't paid child support in 2 yrs) so I inform her to let him know. She told me he was moving out tomorrow and I need to stop having kids and that's why i'm single. Mind you as well my 14 has been hanging with gang members and had told her school the same day the reason she was intrested in being in a gang is because her father glorfies being a blood and having sex on his social media. So, I wanted him to talk to her so he can see how he is effecting her. When I picked her up the next day the sister in law hit me and we fought  (I'm 7 months pregnant with twins btw) and lied and said my daughter's father wasn't there and never came.
Once I get my daughter in the car, she tells me her father was there before he went to work and came back after work and all he said to her was "what's your mother's phone number."
Now, I'm also pregnant with twins by this individual who I believed to be so awesome. However, before I found out I was pregnant I started acting strange. My cousin told me today thats an excuse and nobody wants to hear that. However, I honestly thought I was going crazy until I took a pregnancy test and this great guy abandoned me, it bothered me to the point my cousin convinced me to go to his mother's house and tell her so she could tell him. However, his mom made it seem like it was my fault and ever since then he blocked me on social media, blocked my phone number and moved on with some ditzy girl he use to deal with in the past. Even buying her christian louboutins and whatever else while I try to scrap up as much funds as possible so I can have for my twins.
I have been strong and happy 90% of this pregnancy despite all that. However, today I feel hurt, lonely and want to know why me? I mean no harm to others, I work hard, I try to be the best mom I can but yet I have nobody helping me rather against me I feel. I just want the twins father back in my life as my friend. Having to do this alone is hurtful. Unfortunately, I haven't found any programs that help multiple single parents that can help with cars, carseat and stroller cost.
I guess today could've been better but at the  moment I'm having a moment.

Baby Shower Gift Ideas for Twins Under $50.00

I have been a mother twice already. I have my lovely teenager daughter, going through the great puberty stage which comes with a lot of rebellion. I also have a three year old boy who I spoiled enormously and will forever be my baby and now I have twins on the way. I know the gender of my two new little ones I am expecting but I’m not ready to share just yet.

On my quest to find out what being a twin mom is all about, I am learning a lot of new things. Some of the things I’m learning are making me a bit paranoid; it has me questioning myself if I can really handle this task.

As I am going through baby products for twins, I have come across a few essentials that every twin mom will need plenty of - in stock. When there is more than one you need double or even triple of what you had for a singleton.

Below I have listed the Top 10 Items a twin mom will need plenty of.
If you’re a mom make sure you stock up before the 2 new blessing arrive or if you are baby shower shopping for twins, these are some great ideas and they are all under $50.00.

1.   Full Supply of Diapers (Disposable or Cloth) and Wipes

You can expect each baby to soil/wet 8 to 12 diapers a day for at least the first two months. You will go through 960 to 1,440 diapers in your first 60 days alone. If you use cloth diapers, keep in mind you will save plenty of money that you could use toward other essential items.

2.   Diaper Genie

What goes in must come out. Many of the predominant diaper manufacturers put coupons in the newspaper regularly and offer coupons to moms of twins; however, even with coupons name-brand diapers are still much more expensive.

You will defiantly need a diaper genie to dispose all those diapers you will be putting to use. Diaper Genie is so convenient because you it hold up to 270 newborn diapers which means less time taken from you traveling outside to the garbage can an it hold the stronger order of those stinky diapers

3.   My Best Friend Twin Nursing Pillow

I have always breasted my kids, and was wondering how I was going to manage two babies at once that want a feeding. My Best Friend Twin Nursing Pillow was recommended to me by a old HS friend who also has twins. Despite it comes in green the pillow was made to support new mothers of breastfeeding twins. The pillow wraps securely around your body with an adjustable fit for most sizes.

4.  Car Seat Canopies

Canopies either for car seat or for the stroller are another essential. I keeps, the sun/rain off of baby as well as bugs and strangers who may feel the need to be all in your babies face.

5.  Batteries

Most baby toys, swings, rockers etc., C and D batteries are most common for larger items like a swing, but AA and AAA are commonly used for vibration in a bouncy chair or swing.

6.  Fisher Price Rock & Play Sleeper

Fisher Price Rock & Play Sleeper has an inclined sleeper and playtime seat in on with calming vibrations. The inclined seat helps baby sleep all night long. Definitely a plus when one or both babies are having a uptight day.
 

Other gift ideas are gift cards, a night of volunteering babysitting, Blooming baby bath, coming over and cooking a meal for mom and/or dad. Otherwise, plenty of diapers, onesies and wipes will be the biggest help.

             

Pregnancy Spa Day at Spa Dew in Fort Lee,NJ

I have been overwhelmed at some parts of this pregnancy and was in desperate need of a full body massage and a facial. I have been to Massage Envy before for a massage but the service didn’t seem personalized; it’s more of a commercial service like the company if you get my drift. I also had a fabulous male massage therapist but he talked throughout the whole massage, so I didn’t get the relaxation I needed. Therefore, I goggled local spa’s that where small and would give me the proper time, relaxation and dealt with pregnant customers and I came across Spa Dew - Dew beauty& wellness in Fort Lee, NJ.
I called Spa Dew on Sunday around 5pm and I was surprised they were still open that late on a Sunday and I made an appointment for the following day for 12pm. I informed the receptionist, Joy that I wanted a facial, preferably a Microdermabrasion which is a treatment that uses micronized crystals to reduce fine lines, improve scarring, diminish hyper-pigmentation, and smooth rough skin. It leaves your skin softer and refreshed, revives your skin texture and adds a lasting glow to your appearance. This procedure is costly and at Spa Dew it’s is 80 min and cost $155. Joy, told me that they would have to look at my skin to get a better idea of what kind of facial I really needed and what treatment would be best. Also being that I was pregnant she needed to know how many months/weeks I was because they only will see you after you are in your second trimester due to the fact they don’t want to hurt the baby in anyway.

Lockers available

 I arrived to Spa Dew on Monday at around 11:57 am. When I first Stepped it was dim, with tranquil music on with great aroma, however, I was a bit skeptical because there was nobody at the desk so I
looked around for a bell, nothing, so I just ended up sitting down in one of the leather chairs they had. After, waiting 8 minutes one of the employees saw me sitting and came over and handed me a 1 page client info sheet to fill out. Once I finished another employee came and took me to the locker room, where you can put away your belongings in a locker ( No you don’t have to pay a quarter to lock it, it has a lock that you make up your own 4 number password put it in twice and your things are locked up). They had flip flops and a robe laid out for me to put on after I removed my clothing, (I was told to only leave my panties on).

They provide a Robe and Flip Flops

The massage therapist was the original woman that took me to the locker room, but I didn’t know until she was took me from the locker room to the massage room. The spa is owned and operated by Koreans and there was a little bit of a language barrier, but not a main concern for me especially if she was going to give me a great massage (fingers were crossed).
Being that I am pregnant I had to lie on my side the whole time. I was given a pillow for between my legs, which was a big help. I didn’t know what to expect besides some oil and a rub down. However, I got the Prenatal massage which is a Nurturing massage for mother-to-be after the first trimester, designed to assist with relieving pregnancy-related discomforts and benefits both mother and baby, along with warm stone treatment. OH MY, that was the best thing ever. I highly recommend you get that if you never have or wondering how it felt. The oil mixed with the warm stones being massaged onto your skin felt like heaven. I really wanted it to be longer than 50 min, but I was having a facial right after so stayed content with the 50 min session.
After my massage was over I was taken by the facial specialist to another room across the hall that facials are done in. They had about 2/3 room on each side the massage rooms on one side and facial rooms on the other.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, lotion and combs are available

I know how to say Hello in Korean so I greeted the facial therapist with “yeoboseyo” which is hello in Korean. She was surprised and smiled saying you know Korean, I let her know I only knew that word and another which wasn’t a nice word, she laughed as she laid me down on my back, making sure I was comfortable. The owner, whose name is Jasmine came in and asked if my massage was well and what kind of facial I wanted, I told her I wanted Microdermabrsion. Jasmine then took a min and looked at my skin and said the Vitamin facial would be much better for me. the Vitamin facial is an intensive treatment for sensitive, dry or environmentally stressed skin. High potency vitamin C stimulates the vital functions of the skin and revitalizes damaged cells. This formulated treatment repairs and restores by providing vitamins and antioxidants deeply into the dermis level. Leave with refreshed and renewed all over. This facial is about 75 min and cost about $125. It was relaxing as well. After she cleanses your face, she puts a mask on you that has to sit for about 30 min. After she removes the mask she goes over your skin again. I basically slept through the whole facial.


After you’re finished with your treatments and you go back into the locker room, they have brand new toothbrushes still in wrapper to brush your teeth with toothpaste that is also provided and it’s a brand we all know just FYI lol--- Colgate. I took full advantage of because my breath did feel kind of tart after all of that. They also have a hair dryer, lotion, comb, hair spray and bottled water available.
I must say my overall experience at Spa Dew was great, it was clean, staff was friendly and it is very personalized. I definitely recommend Spa Dew but only if you can afford it of course, and I know I will be going back again in the near future.

The Questions I have Expecting Twins!!!

This experience is so new to me, I think I am still in shock that in a few more months that I will have identical babies to love and nurture.

However, I have so many questions and concerns. How do I know I won't mix one up with the other when giving medication if both are sick and accidentally give one of them two doses?
How will I manage breast feeding if they are both hungry and crying at the same time?
Will I need to get two bassinet's instead of one?
Why are the double strollers so ugly, and the ones that do look super cute way more than my rent?
Will I need to buy some sort of jewelry or mark them with a pen to know who is who until I learn who they are?
Then I have the regular concerns, who will they look like? What will I name them? Who's last name will they have? Will it be hard trying to handle newborns and a 3 year old who is attached to me?

Are there any twin pregnancy groups in my area, I can connect with and help me with my concerns? I definitely will be looking into that today.

Everyday, my head is going crazy with questions and concerns. Not only double the babies but double the thoughts lol.

If any mother out there that has twins and wants to give her input please do so. Also follow my journey on YouTube as I discuss my pregnancy journey!!!

The Single Mom Story

As a hard-working college student and maintaining a full-time job I would never have imagine me being a mom at 20.

My daughter's father was someone of a different caliber than I, somewhat of a less caliber I may add. He already had two kids my two different girls at the age of 20.
He told me he would be there for me which he was somewhat but he was too really to busy cheating to really be there.
My daughter was his only child he saw born and I thought that would make him grow up. However, that was a negative.
We did get engaged but also had to deal with him cheating with a lot of girls and doing a two-year jail sentence with him. After seven years on and off I couldn't take the lies cheating and to top it off the neglect that I was given when I gave birth to a stillborn fetus alone.
The road with my daughter hasn't been easy we've had lived in shelters, on floors and from house to house. There were days we didn't have food there were even times when I went to Social Services in New Jersey and got denied living assistance because I had moved from New Jersey to another state then moved back because I had nowhere to go. Then when I tried to get child support, I was told I had to go find my daughter's father and then call the Warrant Squad and tell them where he was and exactly what he was wearing so they could pick him up, meantime he's in the rears for around $50,000.
Being a single mom help to see who your real friends are and trust me you don't have as many as you may think.

I turned 31 I met another gentleman well someone I thought was gentleman LOL. After a year being together but not really knowing him I got pregnant with my son. Even though I didn't have the same struggles I had with my daughter I had to deal with it man who had a whole other life in another town. He had a girlfriend of 12 Years he had a drug problem and a history of domestic violence and he also turned out to be a stalker. I did end up going to a domestic violence shelter because he would hide in bushes by my home or come by all types of the night knocking on my door or on my window. I tried to make it work for the sake of my son because I didn't want to feel like a failure yet again and not giving my kids a family or a father.

As a woman and mother you have to think about what's best for your kids. Yelling, arguing, and fighting is definitely not so I was at it again at being a single mom. I had to realize being a single mom doesn't mean feeling, it means strength. Strength to leave a situation that isn't healthy for your kids or yourself making a good situation occur after being abandoned or having to leave a unhealthy situation.

Contributor: Danielle Turner

Cloth Diapers 101

Cloth diapers are back and are the come up with a lot of moms nowadays. When cloth diapers where first out they were a piece of cloth held together by pins, however, there is a new wave of cloth diapers with a totally new style. As a young mother, I used the cloth diapers as a burping cloth, but since the rise in $$$ in disposable diapers, I have been looking into using cloth diapers as diapers and not just burping clothes. Cloth diapers can be a very beneficial diapering option, hence the facts below;

Disposable diapers take up to 500 years to begin to decompose.  

There are chemicals and materials used in disposable diapers that have been deemed unsafe for sanitary products like tampons and pads (hint: gel stuff that disposable diapers have)

Cloth diapers save money, especially if you have more than one child.

They prevent thousands of unnecessary diapers from entering our landfills, lessening the carbon footprint on the earth.

Eliminate the need for repeat manufacturing processes to make, package and transport diapers to stores over and over again.

Limit the amount of raw materials and natural resources, such as crude oil and trees, needed to make your baby's diapers.

Reduce your household waste, using less energy for trash trucks to haul away your baby's diapers each week.

The new cloth diapers are adorable

They actually leak much less than disposables

Also you know exactly what’s going on your baby’s most gentle skin.  

The beauty of cloth diapers is the cost you can save for you,your household and they cater to the very specific needs of you, your child, family and/ or lifestyle.

From Birth to 2.5 years of age

$735.00
Cloth Diapers

                                $2,600                                           
Disposable Diapers

           VS 

                                 

                                                                    

The most amazing aspect of cloth diapering is saving money. Depending on your financial ability, you can invest a few hundred dollars on cloth diapers in comparison to the thousands of dollars you will spend from birth to the age of two and a half. With cloth diapers, you are investing money into a reusable product. Cloth diapers can be used to diaper multiple children over the course of time.

Types of Cloth Diapers

The most convenient type of cloth diapering is an All-In-One (AIO).  An All-In-One system mimics a disposable diaper. one piece diapering system has an inner absorbent layer attached to an outer waterproof layer has adjustable closures (either hook & loop or snaps) at the waist are just like disposable diapers except you wash them

 The least expensive system is the Flat Cloth Diapers. Flats are probably the type of cloth diapers are more old school and what most people picture when they hear the words "cloth diapers." Flats are large rectangles, usually made of a few layers of diaper gauze. They must be folded and fastened with diaper pins or Snappi's. Because they do not have a waterproof layer they must be covered with a separate cover, or wool or fleece diaper cover clothing, unless you choose to let your child go coverless. Flats wash and dry very quickly because they do not contain many layers of fabric. They are not the most absorbent choice of cloth diapers, but with diaper covers they are a low-cost cloth diapering system.

 Cover and Pre-Fold cloth diapers often considered to be a step up from flat diapers. Prefolds are rectangles of absorbent fabric, usually surged on all four sides, similar to flats, but with extra layers of material in the center section. Prefolds need to be folded, then fastened with diaper pins or a Snappi. Prefolds need to be covered with a separate cover, or wool or fleece diaper cover clothing unless your child is going coverless. Prefolds come in several sizes to fit from birth to potty learning and when paired with diaper covers are low-cost cloths diapering system. Prefold cloth diapers unfold in the wash for thorough cleaning and quick drying

There are more expensive cloth diapers, mostly Cloth diapers that offer an all natural option, like organic cotton, but besides that you saving a pretty good penny when purchasing cloth instead of disposable.

credits IG: @blackwomendoclothdiaper

Up Keep

When I thought of maintenance of Cloth diapers, I think of a whole lot of mess when cleaning off before washing and re-using. However, I have learned it is not as hard as I had imagined it.  When your baby poops and pees on cloth diapers, dispose of the poop by using a spatula, diaper sprayer, or the Dunk and Swish method (dunk the diaper in the toilet and swish it around until the fecal matter is removed). After ridding the cloth diaper of the waste, you then store the soiled diaper in a receptacle. Air should circulate through your soiled diapers until you wash them to reduce the smell.

Cloth Diapers Wash Do’s:

If soiled, proceed with dunk and swish method or  use the mini-shower to remove poop from diaper. Leave the diaper wet enough that it almost drips. Keeping the diaper wet until it is washed will help reduce stains.

Toss into a dry pail; wash every day or every other day.

Pre-wash your cloth diapers in order to get the initial waste out then do a main wash

Wash no more than 12 - 18 diapers at a time.

Use your washer's highest water level.

Pre-rinse with cold water and no detergent.

Use a regular hot water cycle and Tide (not Tide Free).

Dry diapers in the dryer or hang dry or a combination of both.

Don’ts:

Avoid using chlorine bleach on a regular basis. It will break down fibers and noticeably shorten the life of your diapers. In addition, it may irritate your baby's skin.  Some manufacturers, like bumGenius!, recommend using 1/4 cup bleach with your regular wash once a month.

No fabric softeners, which coat fabric and reduce absorbency. This includes 'baby' detergents such as Dreft.

Side Notes:

They are many child care centers or babysitters that do not do cloth diapers. Which means disposable diapers will be needed for use. However, if you are stern about only using cloth diapers depending on the state, there are laws that allow for cloth diaper usage with a doctor’s note. Also daycare facility cannot turn your child away regardless of the fact you rather cloth diapers.

Also there are extra resources that having lending programs for low income families as they do with disposable diapers.

Websites to visit:

https://www.facebook.com/Blackwomendoclothdiaper
www.alvababy.com
http://www.kellyscloset.com
http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com
www.abbyslane.com

New Item Alert: GB Pockit+ Stroller

GB Pockit+ Available March 2017 

This very convenient stroller is perfect for parents on the move and that want their baby pushed in luxury and style. 
The new GB Pockit+ has gained a lot of attention since its debut. It was named the world’s smallest folded stroller by the Guinness Book of World Records, which is incredible. The GB Pockit+ only weights 11.5 lb., it will be travel-system ready, with optional adapters for GB and CYBEX infant car seats. 
This awesome stroller also folds down to the size of a handbag, which makes it more of a delight for parents, no more struggling of pushing the stroller in your trunk in order for it to close. It will be available in March 2017 for $280. You can find GB products at Toys R Us, Buy Buy Baby and on Amazon